Kaito's Fairey Tales
by Icka M. Chif
Summary: Once upon a time, a magician got bored in class and started telling old fairey tales... his way. Now up: Horse White
1. Gingerbread Man

Kaito's Fairey Tales  
"Run run as fast as you can..."  
By Icka! M. Chif  
  
*  
  
"Once upon a time, there was a Thief. A very good thief. A Phantom Thief, which is as everyone knows, the best kind of thief. They're polite, playful, occasionally helpful, never kill and the best part is that they never get caught unless they want to be. The last part is the most important.  
  
Now this thief had a name, as all good Phantom Thieves must. He was a Magician Thief, known as Magic Kaitou, or the Kaitou Kid. He wore white, because only bad guys wear black.  
  
Well, one night, the Kid had a heist. He'd already sent out a notice in advance and everyone was ready. The Kid snuck in, grabbed the gem, because he was fond of large jewels, and made a grand escape.  
  
Nakamori-keibu shouted and roared as he chased after the Thief "Run, run as fast as you bid!" The Thief shouted back. "You can't catch me, I'm the Kaitou Kid!"  
  
Eventually, the Kid vanished out of sight of the kindly Inspector, so Nakamori-keibu shouted for his men to follow, the Police leaping to action to chase the Thief in their cars.  
  
The Thief laughed. "I've out foxed Nakamori-keibu, and I'll out fox you too! Run, Run as fast as you bid! You can't catch me, I'm the Kaitou Kid!"  
  
And so the Police chased the Kid around and around until he lost them too. Then a young Detective took up the chase, following the Kid.   
  
The Kid laughed harder, for all the Detective's clever traps and plans. "I've out foxed Nakamori-keibu, the Police and I'll out fox you!" The Kid crowed. "Run, Run as fast as you bid! You can't catch me, I'm the Kaitou Kid!"  
  
Eventually, the Detective too lost the Kid's trail and he continued on.   
  
He caught the eye of a Dark Sorceress, who decided to try to ensnare him. They parried back and forth a bit, the Kid laughing all the while.  
  
"I've out foxed Nakamori-keibu, the Police, the Detective and I'll out fox you!" He grinned with a respectful bow, because a Phantom Thief is always polite to the ladies, "Run, Run as fast as you bid! You can't catch me, I'm the Kaitou Kid!"  
  
And so he danced around with the Dark Sorceress for a while before loosing her and continuing on.  
  
By that time, the Kid was tired and needed a break. He stopped to rest by a river, and ran across a girl there.  
  
"I've out foxed Nakamori-keibu, the Police, a Detective, Dark Sorceress and I'll out fox you!" He boasted. "Run, run as fast as you bid, you can't catch me, I'm the Kaitou Kid!"  
  
She just looked at him like he was a moron. "Idiot." She informed him. "I'm just watching the sunset."  
  
"Oh." The Kid paused for a moment, taken back by the reaction. He paused for a moment before asking "...Can I join you?"  
  
She shrugged back before making room for him on the grass. "Okay."  
  
So the Kaitou Kid sat down besides the girl and watched the sun set.  
  
And that is how he was caught. Not by chains, traps or spells, but a simple invitation to watch the sun set.   
  
The End."  
  
Kaito looked around at the small knot of people sitting around his desk, listening to the story. "Well?"  
  
"You goofed up the ending." Hakuba informed him dryly. "That's not how the story ends."  
  
"You tell it like you want to, I'll tell it like I want to." Kaito retorted staunchly.   
  
Akako snorted, looking vaguely amused. Either that or she was planning something really evil to do to him for casting her as an opponent in the story. It was hard to tell.  
  
"... I thought the Fox ate the Gingerbread Man at the end of the story." Aoko mused innocently.  
  
Kaito grinned broadly at his friend. "-And she'll tell it like SHE wants to!"  
  
-Fin-  
  
*  
  
Once Upon a time, we had the bizarre idea of Kaito sitting on top of his desk telling a story to the rest of his class, who were huddled around the storyteller for entertainment during break time.   
And thus several strange stories were born.  
  
This was a twisted re-telling of 'The Gingerbread Man'. 


	2. Two of them

"Once upon a time, during one of the many battles between a Phantom Thief and the Police, the Police cornered the Thief on the top of a building. The Police took much cheer in this and began to demand that the Thief surrender himself to them. Instead of obeying their commands, the Thief perched on the edge of the rooftop and began to casually shout insults at the Police below. Enraged, the head Inspector sent 5 of his men up to capture the roguish Thief.   
  
The Thief laughed and disappeared onto the roof as the Officers scurried up. As the Officers disappeared from sight, screams echoed out and the sound of fight could be heard as the building began to shake as if an earthquake had caught it.  
  
Then there was silence.  
  
The Thief re-appeared on the edge of the rooftop, grinning broadly and taunting the Officers below even more, adding colourful phrases in foreign languages.  
  
This pissed off the inspector even more, and he sent 10 of his men scurrying up the side of the building to capture the Thief. The Thief just laughed and disappeared from view again.   
  
As soon as the last of the Officers disappeared from sight, screams and shouts began to echo out from the top of the building and cards and small clouds of smoke and what appeared to be small feathers began to fly up into the air as the building rocked and shook to it's very foundations.  
  
Then there was silence.  
  
Once more, the Thief re-appeared, a grin stretched from ear to ear as he taunted the Officers below with colour phrases in different languages and various hand gestures that should not be repeated.   
  
Furious beyond belief, the Inspector sent 50 of his men up to capture the Thief The Thief just laughed merrily, once more disappearing from view.   
  
As soon as the last officer disappeared over the side of the building, the building began to bounce and shake as if it were made of pudding and large quantities of feathers began to fly into the air, clouds of smoke concealing them as they drifted down, and things that might have been handcuffs or parts of handcuffs flew everywhere.   
  
And in the mist of all this, a lone Officer, looking quite mussed up, crawled to the edge of the building and shouted a weak cry of warning down to his colleagues below.   
  
"It's a trap!" He called. "He's got pigeons too!!!"  
  
The end."  
  
A few classmates broke into polite applause as Kuroba ended his tale with a grin, anticipating Aoko's thunderous reaction and probable chase around the room.   
  
Hakuba merely arched an amused eyebrow. "Giving away trade secrets now are we?"  
  
-fin-  
  
This is based off a story I heard at Scottish Faire years and years ago.  
  
The orginal is about one of the many battles between the Irish and the British. The punchline was that there were 2 Irish on the other side of the hill, instead of just the one that was taunting the troop. ^^;;  
  
And once again, we accidently insult Hakuba... sorry, dude. 


	3. Jack and the Beanstalk

Kaito and the Beanstalk  
  
by Icka! M. Chif  
  
"Once upon at time, as all fairey tales either good or bad must start, there lived a boy named Kaito and his Mother. They lived in the countryside on a farm, not exactly dirt poor, but not very well off either.   
  
Once day, Kaito's mom asked him to sell their only cow, as it was past its expiration date and they could use the money. Being the kind and dutiful son that he was, he cheerfully took their cow and headed to the market, whistling a cheerful tune, for he was the jovial sort.   
  
On his way to the market, he ran across the Beautiful Dark Sorceress Akako, who was looking for some fresh meat for dinner. Not some sacrifice for some strange and bizarre ritual of hers, and the storyteller is not just saying that because he doesn't want to get turned into a koala again.  
  
So the Beautiful Dark Sorceress offered Kaito a deal, some magic beans that would make him rich in exchange for the cow, or else getting zapped by the strange twisty staff thingie she was holding. Being a smart boy, he quickly agreed. Exchange thus agreed upon, they traded and headed back off in their separate directions.   
  
Kaito wasn't sure about the beans, so instead of showing them to his mother, he tossed them in one of the family fields and promptly forgot about it.   
  
For all of about 10 seconds.   
  
Which was when a giant beanstalk suddenly erupted out of the ground, one of its tendrils grabbing him and carrying him up into the sky as it grew faster than a hawk can dive. Up, up, up and away it grew some more, until it reached the clouds, bearing him with it.  
  
And then it stopped.  
  
Kaito blinked. Well, that had been un-expected.  
  
Untangling himself from the green vine that had wrapped it's way around him, he reviewed his choices. One: crawl back down and attempted to explain to his Mom why a giant beanstalk had just sprouted out of their backyard. Two: Go explore the funny looking castle built on the clouds that he was currently dangling above.  
  
No decision necessary there. The vine he was wrapped up in suddenly released him, dropping him onto the clouds, causing him to bounce on the cushiony surface. After getting over a brief mental panic that the clouds were going to drop him at any time, he began to bound his way across the fluffy white landscape with madcap glee, the soft clouds having the consistency of puffy marshmallows and twice as bouncy. He was half tempted to try eating one, but of other people had been walking there too, that was just kind of 'ew'....  
  
By and by he came to the large castle that he had spotted from the beanstalk and was surprised by the sheer enormity of it. Compared to whom ever lived there, he was the size of a mouse!  
  
Bonus for him. Made it easier to sneak into the castle.  
  
'Kaito creep, Kaito creep, Kaito creep...' the words echoed in his head as he snuck around the castle, avoiding the dust bunnies in the corners that threatened to overwhelm him whenever he got near. They had the upper hand here and they knew it, so he decided discretion was the better part of valour and left them the heck alone.  
  
He crept along until he was drawn to the sound of a voice. It was sweet and mellow, soothing to the ear, much like a babbling stream of musical water. Curious, he followed it into another room.   
  
Now everyone has heard of the Magic Singing Harp, right? Well, this wasn't it. Oh, she was definitely female, and a harp, but she certainly wasn't singing.   
  
She was cursing. Like a sailor. Up one side and back down the other, leaving scorch marks in the wake. After all, if you had your back stuck to a stiff metal harp, wouldn't you be cursing too? That's got to be unpleasant after a while.  
  
Grinning broadly, Kaito scampered up onto the table that she was resting and introduced himself. Then promptly ducked as she attempted to deck him. Not that he could blame her; it is awfully impolite to appear out of nowhere uninvited like that.  
  
Once the threat of flying limbs had abated, he and the Magic Cursing Harp, whose name was Aoko, started talking and traded tales. Turns out that she had been born the daughter of an Inspector, and had been cursed into a magical harp by a sorcerer who had taken offense to being caught breaking the law. The owner of the castle, a giant named Saguru, had been keeping her ever since, seeing as it was rather hard to get around as a life size harp. The giant was actually a pretty nice guy, even if he acted as if someone had added a bit too much starch to his underpants.  
  
After a bit of talking, Kaito offered to break the spell holding Aoko to the harp in exchange for helping talk him out of trouble with his mother, since Aoko would not only be a witness, but female as well and more likely for his mother to believe. And since he was the son of a Magician as well, he figured it wouldn't be too hard to do. That and the little sign on the back of the harp that read 'press button to break curse'.   
  
He couldn't really blame Saguru for not noticing it either. It was hard for even someone of his size to spot, unless they were trying to figure out how to flip her skirt. Not that he had been attempting to figure out how to flip the harp-girl's skirt, nah-uh, not him, nope, no way.  
  
Button pressed and Aoko freed, they explored the castle, stumbling upon two treasures. After all, the Beautiful Dark Sorceress had said that the beans had made him rich, and the more evidence he brought back, the less trouble he was likely to get into with his Mom, who could think up some really interesting punishments to torture him with when he misbehaved. Not that he misbehaved often or anything...  
  
They had discovered the giant's pocket watch, which Aoko informed him that Hakuba was highly fond of, and a goose their size that laid golden eggs. Kaito looked between the two for a moment before rapidly reaching a decision.  
  
To take the pocket watch.  
  
Aoko, being the practical girl that she was, looked between the pocket watch and the Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs, then back at Kaito in puzzlement. It made more sense to grab the Goose, for not only was it smaller and easier to hold, but would continue to supply them with money for as long as the Goose lived. The watch on the other hand was large, bulky and would be rather hard to transport, much less sell.  
  
Kaito agreed with her logic when she pointed this out, but shrugged gamely and grinned. Taking the pocket watch would be a better prank.  
  
She paused, and then went to help him with the pocket watch. It was hard to argue with logic like that.  
  
The pocket watch was nearly their size, but using the profound strength that all storybook characters have, they picked it up and quickly scurried out of the giant's castle, heading for the beanstalk.  
  
They had just reached the large green tentacle-like plant when the ground began to shake beneath them and a battle cry rang out, nearly deafening their ears. Not ''Fe, fa, fi-fo-fum' or any rhyming nonsense like that, but a battle cry of "Naze konna koto o!!!" Hakuba, the giant had discovered both the pocket watch and the harp missing. Needless to say, he wasn't happy.  
  
Anyone with the smallest shred of self-preservation would have recognised the danger sign and run for it. Fortunately for our two small heroes, they had more then a shred of self-preservation and practically flew the remaining distance to the plant, the blond giant hot on their heels.   
  
Quickly realising that climbing down with the watch was near impossible; they literally stumbled upon a different plan. Use the watch as a sled.   
  
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! Down the vines they went, blithely ignoring the birds they startled on the way down. Hakuba followed them, sliding down the vine like it was a fireman pole. Twigs and branches and seedpods followed him down, scattering on the ground below. He was fast, but fortunately, Kaito and Aoko's head start held, and they reached the bottom of the beanstalk first and scrambled towards the relative safety of his house.   
  
Hakuba followed, shouting at them all the way. But as he chased them, a strange thing happened. He looked huge in the distance, then appeared to get smaller and smaller until by the time he caught up to them in front of the Kuroba house, he was their size.   
  
Which caused much pausing and staring between the three of them until both Kaito and Aoko burst in to laughter, dropping the watch on the ground as they doubled over in laughter. Hakuba on the other hand, just continued to stare, not quite sure what to make of it.  
  
The sound of their laughter brought Kaito's Mom to the door, where she promptly tripped over a pea pod that was longer than she was tall. She blinked and looked around, noticing the humongous pea pods and leaves that lay scattered around the property, then at the laughing teenagers and hatched upon a plan to earn some money.  
  
Several weeks later, after the pocket watch was installed on the second story above the door to their humble house to act as a clock for people miles around, the doors opened up to Mama Kuroba's Giant Split Pea Soup Factory. The giant peas dried out very well, and Kaito's Mom really did make good split pea soup. The beanstalk, though slightly shorter than when he had first travelled up it, remained green and growing, thus supplying them with a never ending supply of giant peas.   
  
People came from miles around for the soup and to see the giant beanstalk, and Kaito, his Mom, Aoko and Hakuba all profited from it. In thanks, Akako the Sorceress was given all the pea soup she could eat whenever she stopped by and they all lived happily ever after.   
  
The end."  
  
Hakuba raised an eyebrow as Kaito finished his tale. "You." He proclaimed "Are becoming weirder every day, you know that?"  
  
The magician just laughed.  
  
-fin-  
  
"Naze konna koto o...." = "Why did you....?"  
  
Many many thanks to Ann for that. ((GLOMPS!)) 


	4. NonKaito: CinderConan

_Long time ago, a wild plunnie ran up and bit us while chatting on line. Thus, the story was written in the chat window.   
And we still have no clue as to its strange, sick, twisted purpose.   
_

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Shin'ichi.  
  
He was an only child and grew up happily with his whacked out parents, who were slightly insane, but that was okay because they left him on his own most of the time.  
  
Then one day, he ran across some people he shouldn't have and got shrunk down to the size of a little boy. Which, in his option, sucked.  
  
Since he couldn't get in contact with his parents, he ended up getting adopted by a local scientist named Agasa, and his cousin... uh... granddaughter... um, something or another relative named Ai.  
  
Because he was afraid of the bad men following him, he changed his named 'Conan', and lived if not quite happily with them, then at least fairly peacefully.  
  
Except for the random explosions. But we don't talk about those.  
  
Then one day, some higher up official or something named Mouri decided he was gonna be a putz and marry off his daughter, the beautiful Ran.  
  
Who happened to have a karate champion and break doors with her fists. But we don't talk about that either.  
  
Mouri's wise idea was to hold a ball, inviting all of the eligible young men around for his daughter to pick one out to marry.   
  
... unfortunately for him, he did this while drunk one night after mahjongsp and his daughter was quite un-happy with him for that.  
  
Now, Shin'ichi had had a crush on Ran for years, but had never had the ability to summon up enough guts to ask her out. And when he found out about the ball, he was quite depressed. After all, how was he supposed to catch Ran's attention while he was stuck as a little kid?  
  
So he went to bed the night of the ball a very depressed little child.  
  
That is, until a bright shining light woke him up.  
  
He rubbed his eyes, put on his glasses (his disguise. hey, if it worked for Clark Kent... ) and went to see who it was.  
  
It was a glowing person, dressed all in white with glittering fairy wings on their back and holding a magic wand. At first Conan thought it was some sort of hallucination until he recognised the person in tights.  
  
"Hey! You're the Kaitou Kid, aren't you?"  
  
"Shut up. You're ruining the story. And this tights itch..."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
_(Ickaimp: I have no clue what I'm writing... )_  
  
So as to continue with the story, the magical glowing person introduced themselves to Conan as a fairy, come to grant him his fondest wish.  
  
Unfortunately, it was only temporary.  
  
So the magical glowing person turned Conan back into Shin'ichi, dressed him up in a snazzy white tux and gave him transportation to the dance.  
  
Long story short, Shin'ichi caught the eye of Ran, Ran knocked out the nearest guy propositioning her and ended up dancing with him the rest of the night, the two of them gazing so lovingly into each others eyes it was enough to make one sick.  
  
And it did.  
  
Then the sound of the bells tolling midnight rang out, startling Shin'ichi out of his romantic haze. The spell keeping him as Shin'ichi would wear off at the last bell toll of midnight, and he would revert back to Conan. Deciding that he didn't want to do that in front of Ran and a very large crowd of people, some of whom could be the same people who shrunk him in the first place, he stammered a lame excuse and ran for it.   
  
Ran, not about to let him go just like that, chased after him.  
  
In the resulting chase, Shin'ichi lost his Conan glasses, but got back to Agasa's house safely.  
  
Ran was most distraught by this turn of events and swore to find the mystery man. And after a few holes in the walls, her father was more than happy to help her do so.  
  
Calling in a few favours with the police department, they decided to conduct a door to door search, looking for the owner of the glasses.   
  
They searched and they searched, finding several people who acted like the glasses fit, (until she pointed out that no, they weren't, and punched a few holes in some concrete to prove her point) but failed to find the owner of the glasses.  
  
Until they reached Dr. Agasa's house. Conan, not wanting her to see him stuck in the smaller form, attempted to hide from the party.  
  
That is until Ai calmly dragged him out of his hiding spot by his suspenders, plopped him in front of Ran and the police and informed them that might want to try them on him.  
  
He was not pleased with her for that, but wasn't in any position to argue.  
  
So Ran placed the glasses on Conan's face and lo and behold, they fit!  
  
This brought up a bit of an argument from Ran's father, protesting the idea of his daughter marrying anyone so young.  
  
Ran found this all rather amusing and in a pique of humour, glomped on to him and announced that they were taking him back with them.  
  
This, of course, turned Conan bright red.  
  
The magical glowing person, laughing his head off, re-appeared and turned Conan back into Shin'ichi while in Ran's embrace, causing a minor amount of embarrassment on both of them.  
  
And some alarm on the part of the Police and Ran's father.  
  
Some quick explanations later, Mouri decided that Shin'ichi was an okay enough fellow to date his daughter, and gave them his blessing. But then it might have had something to do with the look his daughter was giving him, but we're not going to mention that.  
  
And so everyone lived happily ever after, even the magical glowing person and Ai, who made lots of money selling inside information on the happy couple to the tabloids.  
  
The end.  
  



	5. Horse White

Kaito's Fairey Tales: Horse White  
Authour: Icka! M. Chif 

"Once upon a time, there lived a lovely Princess by the name of Horse White, or Hakuba for short. Why was he called 'Horse White'? Because his skin was the smoothest and palest in all the land and his father had been hung like a... well, that's not important.

Now, the princess' mother had passed away a long time ago and eventually Hakuba's father remarried to the most beautiful woman in all the land, the fair and lovely sorceress Akako.

Now Akako had a magic mirror that she would check every so often, not every day because she wasn't -vain- about her looks or anything and she would ask the Mirror: "Aoko, Aoko on the Wall, Who's the Prettiest of them All?"

And usually the mirror, who's name was Aoko, would tell her that duh, she was the fairest. Except for one day when Aoko looked apologetic cause she had to give the witch bad news.

"Sorry. Princess Hakuba's prettier than you." Aoko apologized with a shrug.

"Well, bugger." Akako sulked. Prettily of course. "Well, screw that then. I'M the prettiest, dammit! Guess we'll just have to kill him off then."

"Right-o." Aoko agreed. "I'll just change into a huntsman for the next part then. You want his heart or anything morbid like that for a souvenir?"

"Nah. No one around here knows how to cook fresh beating hearts properly." The Sorceress waved it off, changing the topic. "So, we still on for tonight?"

"Strip poker, your place, around 8?" Aoko grinned cheerfully. "I'll bring the piña colada."

"Excellent!" Akako brightened for a moment, then her expression fell, becoming serious.

Aoko picked up on it, delaying her departure. "Something wrong?"

"It's this name business. If Hakuba's a 'he', shouldn't we be calling him 'Prince' instead of 'Princess'?"

"Search me." Aoko shrugged, dismissing it. "Someone's crapped out sense of humour. Well, I'm off!"

Meanwhile, Princess Hakuba had some troubles of his own that he was dealing with.

"WHY THE HELL AM I WEARING A DRESS!" The irate princess wanted to know.

Unfortunately for him, no answer was forth coming. So the princess sulked in his big flouncy dress, looking marvelously ravishing as he did so.

Fortunately a distraction was heading his way. It was Aoko, the huntsman who didn't resemble anyone at all who hung about in mirrors except for the fact that they looked exactly alike. "Yo, Princess!" The huntsman waved cheerfully.

"Yo, Aoko." The Princess waved back. "What's up?"

"The sorceress wants some forest flowers to decorate the palace. You wanna come?"

"Might as well." Hakuba sighed, picking up his large voluptuous skirts and following the huntsman out side the castle. If nothing else, it'd be nice to get out of the castle for a while. Even if he was stuck wearing stupid dresses.

So Aoko and Hakuba wandered out into the forest to pick wild flowers. Which is not an easy task, especially in a big flouncy skirt, which Hakuba kept getting tangled up in the various brambles and branches that littered the area. Although it did mean that he didn't have to worry about his legs getting pricked by thorns quite as much.

So while he was wrestling to get the stupid skirts untangled, Aoko gave him the slip, figuring that her job here was done and she really had to hurry back if she wanted to pick up the piña colada makings in time for poker night at Akako's.

By the time that Hakuba was finally free of the annoying foliage, he found himself alone and quite thoroughly confused as to where he was. So he stubbornly picked a direction and headed that way, figuring he'd find someone eventually.

Which he did, finding a small cottage in the middle of a clearing. Rather confused as to what the cottage was doing there but grateful it was there at all, he knocked on the door.

Which was promptly opened by a small man wearing a grey suit and smoking a pipe. "Yeah?" The annoyed looking man demanded.

"Uh... I'm lost."

He'd really just been hoping for some directions back towards the castle, so was highly surprised to find himself dragged into the small cottage -which was bigger on the inside than it appeared- and ushered to a desk and told to sit down. "Right." The little man grumbled. "You'll need to fill out forms 27-9J and 64B/8. You have any identification on you?"

"No?" He was a princess. Since when did a princess need identification? Usually he just flashed the birthmark that looked like a rearing horse on his... well, that's not important...

"Well then fill out the forms to the best of your ability. Someone will be along shortly." With that, the smoking man stormed off shouting for someone named 'Chiaki' who was not going to catch the blasted thief before he was.

Hakuba stared, watching him go.

"Don't worry about him." A pleasant voice informed the startled princess. A tiny woman with a short hair cut smiled at him, a puppy-ish looking man standing behind her. "He's usually like that."

"Uh... thanks." Hakuba bowed his head towards the lady. "I'm Princess Hakuba. Seem to have gotten a little mixed up."

"Welcome to the House of the Seven Shrunken Police Officers." The woman grinned back. "I'm Sato and this is Takagi. Shiratori's the grumpy face behind him. Chiba's around here somewhere, so's Megure. And that was Nakamori who opened the door and was shouting for Chiaki. They're both a little high strung."

Both Shiratori and Takagi seemed to find the last comment an understatement.

"Oh." The Princess nodded. "Nice to meet you all."

Takagi waved back, smiling cheerfully. "Nakamori gave you all the proper paperwork to fill out? You're lost, right?"

Hakuba waved the forms that had been set down in front of him. "Yeah."

"Great. Just holler if you need help or when you finish." Takagi waved, wandering off in hopes of finishing his own paperwork.

"There should be donuts soon." Sato offered helpfully before heading back to her own desk, Shiratori following after.

"... Thanks." Fortified by the promises of food, Hakuba settled down to complete the paper work he'd been assigned.

Time passed. Eventually, as he'd been promised, he found a donut resting on a napkin next to his elbow. Hungry, since he hadn't eaten anything since long before he'd left the castle, he picked up the donut and took a bite of it.

Just in time for Megure, who was hurriedly walking past, to bump the chair and jostle Hakuba, causing the bit of donut to get stuck in Hakuba's throat. The princess turned a faint shade of blue, waved his arm enthusiastically, the other around his neck in the classic gesture of 'Help! I'm Choking!' and gracefully passed out, falling on the ground in a heap of frothy petticoats and embroidery.

"Oops." Megure looked at the fallen body at his feet with worry. He hadn't meant to cause any harm.

"Well, there's more paperwork for us to do if Nakamori or Chiaki find out." Shiratori sighed.

The officers looked at each other.

"The Evidence Locker." Chiba suggested. "No one ever looks there."

"Right." The officers quickly bopped the princess over the head to make sure that he'd remain unconscious, picked up the limp body and hastily dragged him off, hiding him in the evidence locker and swearing to themselves never to talk of it again.

Several hours later that night, a thief broke into the House of the Seven Shrunken Police Officers' Evidence Room and was poking around for any evidence of himself that he might have accidentally left behind, uh, any interesting things that they might have acquired since his last visit. To the thief's surprise, he found Princess Hakuba laying there, apparently fast asleep and looking very very pale.

He leaned over to get a closer look at the person laying there when the Princess woke up and opened his eyes. And promptly screamed at finding some stranger looming so close to his face. This caused the piece of donut that was lodged in his throat to come loose and restoring full oxygen flow back into the princess' lungs.

Said oxygen which was then used to shout and chase the thief around the room until they both collapsed on the floor breathing hard from their excursions. Once they were both calmed down and were able to breathe again, the thief invited the princess back to the castle for Queen Akako's Poker Night and free piña coladas.

To which Hakuba agreed to and proceeded to beat the pants off of everyone in strip poker because wearing that many big flouncy skirts had to come in handy some time.

And they all lived happily ever after. The end."

Kaito grinned at his classmates, his story at a finish. Aoko and Akako gave each other thoughtful looks, plots and schemes silently passing between the two girls.

"Poker?" Aoko finally commented.

"My place?" Akako smirked.

"8'o clock?"

"Sounds good." Aoko agreed. "I'll bring the piña colada."

"Excellent."

Grinning madly, the girls bounced off, chattering excitedly about what other munchies they should have for poker night.

Behind Kaito, Hakuba cleared his throat, expression stormy. Kaito's grin didn't falter. "Can I help you, Hakuba-kun? Cough drop, perhaps?"

"No, thank you." Hakuba glowered at the magician. "But in the future, I would prefer it if you would kindly refrain from putting me in your stories."

Kaito sulked.

-fin-


End file.
